Ones first kiss is a big deal, at least it is a big deal before it actually happens. After it happens its just another thing another memory.
I know a lot of people are worried about being a certain age and not having had their first kiss so here are some things to remember;
- no one cares if you are 14, 15, 18, 20, 21 and still haven’t had your first kiss – they do not think you are weird, they do not think that there is something wrong with you, if anything they would be happy with the job they appoint themselves to find you that one person to kiss – please remember this
- you are not weird if you haven’t kissed someone yet – seriously friends there is NOTHING wrong with you – trust me
- wait – be lucky that your first kiss wasn’t when you were young and stupid and it wasn’t gross and weird – like mine. I wish I had waited.
- Be patient – it will come !!! Trust me on this one. You will be kissed one day, just let it come when it comes
One worry that we all have, I know I have it, is the question of “Am I a good kisser?”
Don’t let that stop you from kissing another being, because we are all learning here – besides you get better with practice. Chances are the person you are kissing are just happy to be intimate with another human being – they aren’t worried about how good you kiss.
Okay, so what kind of post would this be if I didn’t share with you my first kiss experience. Oh dear lord – what an experience….
I was 14. It was at a school dance.
So, I remember that night so vividly. My group of friends at the time and me all busily doing our hair and make up at my friends house. I remember walking into the building of the dance, past the teachers and then finally across the threshold into the gym where the music was so loud, the lights were very dim and the crowd was menacing.
I had made a pledge to myself that night, that I would accept any invitation to dance by any possible gentlemen. (well not gentlemen but I was a dreamer as a kid) I decided that the best way to get to know people, and to just put myself out there was to say yes to every guy who asked me to dance.
Recently, I remembered one guy who had asked me to dance. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the one I kissed – which I regret sooooo much because omg he was so sweet and I could tell he liked me. So this gorgeous little cutie – he was tall, dark haired and a bit nerdy — was probably into sci-fi which hey im down for. We were dancing and he was so sweet, looking at me with those eyes and it was all very cute and endearing. Of course me being me – I stopped dancing with him before he could get any closer — anything good, anything that could possibly show me real affection I run from – but thats a whole other post.
So later on in the night, this guy asks my friend to dance but she runs away. He looks at me and shrugs – basically a “wanna dance”. So I nod and we dance. ugh I’m cringing just thinking about it. He was short, weird, and didn’t talk to me. I really really did not want to dance with this kid. But I didn’t want to be mean or rude.
Then – then my friends oh then.
So his friends come over and start whispering in his ear – loudly. “kiss her” “come on mate just do it” blah blah blah.
Then some girls who I knew but went to a different school to me came over and started telling me to kiss him ! To just do it.
I remember looking over at his face and just thinking dear lord jesus christ please please no.
Then my best friend at the time whispered in my ear saying that if I wanted to get out of there we could go. I really wish I had listened to her but instead next thing I know I’m leaning in…… oh god.
So I’m kissing this boy and his lips taste like strawberry chapstick and his lips feel weird. I try to get into it, I grab his hair awkwardly but then I just keep thinking about his tongue down my throat and I just cant – I pull away.
I look at him, I’m still surrounded by a bunch of horny adolescent boys and judging girls. I yell the first thing that comes out “Thank you !” then I run, oh god did I run.
So I’m sitting outside the dance floor, by the bathrooms and my two best friends come and find me. They are asking me if I’m okay and I’m just saying over and over that I cannot believe I just did that. Then that feeling started to stir in my stomach – I had to get out of there.
I remember a teacher coming over and asking me what was wrong. I was crying. I told her I didn’t feel too good, she was so sweet to me and said that if I wanted I could call my mum.
So I get my mum on the phone. ahahah I’m laughing as I write this wow.
Okay so I’m on the phone and my voice is quiet and she can tell I’m upset.
“Mum, I kissed a boy and I and I”
“And you didn’t like him ?”
“I didn’t even know him”
“I’m coming stay right there.”
My mum the awesome woman that she is comes to get me, she runs into the building still in her pyjamas – god love her.
But – it gets worse.
So, I’m the oldest of four children. At the time my siblings were younger. My mum didn’t want to have to park because parking was a nightmare so my dad drove her and she ran in to get me. But my siblings couldn’t be left home alone – SO THEY WERE ALL IN THE CAR. My ENTIRE family.
It’s dead silent.
My brother asks why they were picking me up because the plan was that i was going to stay at a friends house after the dance.
My mum just says “she kissed someone”
It is dead silent.
We finally get home and my dad turns on the TV.
Now the next thing that happens was not planned, this is not a joke. This is the universe laughing at me.
The movie Never Been Kissed was on the television.
My dad looks over at me and says “Well Bella, that’s not you anymore” And he just starts laughing. I start laughing but I’m also angry at him.
Heres to say I went to sleep very confused and angry at myself that night.
So – learn from my mistakes —
Don’t let peer pressure get to you because you will regret the actions you take based on that pressure
And wait for your first kiss because for the next year, every time I thought about it I felt sick to my stomach.