In our Messy Effect Facebook chat the girls and I were discussing toxic friendships.
The thing with friends is that you get to choose them. Sometimes friends can be like shoes. You see a beautiful pair in the shop – they look comfortable and they seem like they would tie all your outfits together. So you buy the shoes and what do you know the first night your feet end up covered in blisters. Maybe you get past this with the shoes, maybe you just needed to break them in. Or every time you put them on you can’t wait to take them off. Soon you dread having to go out, dread having to even look at them – it hurts at how wonderfully fabulous they appear, how much money you invested and yet when you put them on all the pain comes to life.
Then you have that pair of boats that you got for christmas back in ’09. And they are comfortable plus go with every single one of your outfits. As you grow older so do they, but somehow they still seem to look bloody great on. Then its 2016 and you cannot believe that you have owned the pair for so long and remarkably they still fit your feet – even though many of your other shoes you outgrew so long ago.
You see, with the toxic shoes you just have to let them go, throw them in the trash. Once they are out of your life you feel a sense of freedom because nothing is weighing you down. Do not ever settle for anything less than you deserve because I know from personal experience how shitty it is to be stuck in a group of toxic people. If you own the boots – keep them close until they don’t fit anymore. Sometimes friends grow apart and that is okay, because you can look back at all the wonderful memories you shared. Then there are the friends who will be in your life for a long long time. They are people who become family – and usually they are people who you don’t choose. They can be like a pair of shoes you got as a present that at first you aren’t sure of but then you never want to take them off.
Just remember, friendships are hard to give up – but sometimes it is inevitable and that is okay.